Sanitizer

Dear reader,

So I'm somewhat a clean freak.

Let's say I'm eating something and a piece of food falls off my fork and disappears, I have no idea if it landed on my clothes but I just assume the worst and change, just incase. (Just kidding, mom. (I'm not kidding.) Yes I am. (Ha, wink. *Wink*)) Example number two, if I had already had my shower, you can assume that I'll spend the rest of my time at home. If I had to go out, I'll either feel the need to shower again or wash my feet. I will not sleep in my bed unless I know I am 100% clean. Which brings me to my next point, if you're not clean, do not sit on my bed or lie in it. (Yes, I'm talking to you, brother. (Honestly, there's really no point pointing it out to him here as he is not a supportive brother who reads my blog.) Unless you are clean, stay off my bed.)

Sometimes I wonder if I have OCD. A problem of mine that I'm wondering about other than cleanliness is crinkled pages. I cannot have crinkled pages, be it on my notebooks, school books or novels. I simply cannot have crinkled pages. I cannot concentrate on anything else if I know my pages are crinkled. I will resort to either ripping out the page and rewriting my work or buying a new copy of that same novel. Right, um- I'm getting off track here. The topic's sanitizer, let's get back to that. (I'll talk about my 'OCD' another time.)

So yesterday while I was playing my iPad I felt a sneeze coming on, obviously I covered my nose and mouth so that I wouldn't sneeze on my iPad. Um...Yeah. Terrible idea. I got spit all over my hand, I had a mini panic attack and quickly wiped my hand with a tissue then ran to my room to grab my hand sanitizer. Why didn't I just wash my hands? Well, water doesn't kill as much germs as my hand sanitizer. My sanitizer kills 99.99% of the germs (At least that's what it says on the bottle). What about that 0.01%, you ask? (That was rhetorical, I know you didn't ask, I'm surprised you're still reading this.) Well, I washed my hands with water which killed that 0.01% then to be safe, I used my sanitizer again. So yeah, boom. I killed all those germs, you could call me a serial sanitizer.

Anyway, I'm going to let you go now. You must be seriously confused with yourself right now. You must be thinking, "Did I really just read and laugh at this maniac's post about hand sanitizers?" Yes, yes you did. You must have absolutely nothing to do. Well, unlike you, I have a date.

Bazinga! Well, not really. I do have a date. With my TV.

Oh god, you should've seen your face. It was hilarious. Like a crazy person who blogs about hand sanitizer will have a date. Anyways, I'm going now.

Love always,
Denise.